As I was walking to my psychotherapy office this morning I was thinking about the clients I would be seeing today and I was aware that I was mentally preparing to absorb their pain.
Edwin Friedman, a disciple of Murry Bowen, said that he believed that what therapists have to offer in doing family therapy with people is a "non-anxious presence".
I often observe that what clients need more than anything else is a shoulder to cry on, a safe place to express their grief, and to provide some enlightened witnessing to the trauma and tragedy, suffering and difficulties, sorrows and pain in their lives.
Some authors describe what therapists and other helpers are subjected to as vicarious trauma. In the process of listening to traumatic stores, the listener suffers as well.
Not all human beings are suited or called to such service. It is difficult to listen "non anxiously" and yet it is this non-anxious presence which provides the therapeutic balm the soothing solace for troubled souls.
If people asked me, "What do you do for a living?" would it sound pretentious to say, "I am a pain absorber." I am an unflinching witness to torment and suffering. My intent is to provide a validating witness.
"They pay you money for this?", they say.
"Not enough", I say. "It is God's work really," I say. "The money merely puts the food on the table and pays the mortgage. What I am about is doing the work of compassion and mercy and on this, you cannot, put a price tag. It is not a mercenary exchange. What I do, is not well done in the marketplace."
They look at me strangely.
Should I apologize?
Am I out of place?
How does one medicalize human suffering and subject it to pharmaceuticals for a buck?
It seems obscene to me.
This is article #7 in a series on Psychotherapeutic Reflections.
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