I have been thinking about rebellious teenagers who are the bane of their parents existence. I admire the perseverence of parents who hang in there with kids who are disrespectful, disobedient, insullent, and misbehaving.
I am struck with the grandiose sense of entitlement that kids have in this current generation. They seem to believe that their parents owe them things especially material things like the latest fashions, cell phones, computers, computer games, lessons, athletic fees, cable TV, trips, etc.
The technology has changed so fast with the texting and sexting (sending naked pictures via cell phones), face book, MySpace, etc. that it is dazzling for parents to keep up with the behaviors of their children, let alone monitor them and provide adequate supervision.
Zero tolerance in schools lead to expulsion for long periods of time and huge bureaucratic morasses which 25 years ago would have been handled in quite different ways.
Of course, I see a very skewed population in my office of kids and parents who have run up against "the system" in one way or another. But we live in a culture which sexualizes and alcoholizes and encourages a materialism way out of control in ways that previous generations didn't have to contend with.
As a family psychotherapist, I listen carefully to the complaints from all sides, and attempt to come to a mutual understanding which leads to some mutual goal setting and pursuit but the power struggles often interfere and are so difficult to overcome when everyone wants their own way and the "need to be right" outweighs a sense of fairness and common sense.
I need to think more about what is going on in our culture that influences the raising of adolescents.
Please leave your comments about what you think of raising adolescents in our contemporary times.
This is article #2 in a series on Psychotherapy reflections.
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