Psychotherapy reflections - the experience of ourselves in our relationships

One of the most important things I have learned in doing psychotherapy is to attend to how people experience themselves in their relationships with other people.

It is tricky to create the right language to ask the right questions to further explore this.

I asked a grieving mother on last Saturday, "What did you like best about being his mother?" She cried even more strongly and said, "I was so blessed. He was such a good boy."

This response, of course, leads to even more questions. These might be called "mapping the experience of ourselves in this relationship" kind of questions.

What is the point of such exploration? Most people find it very illuminating and validating of their own experience and this contributes to a more positive sense of self and a decrease in dysmorphic moods.

This is article #8 in a series on psychotherapeutic reflections.