Reflections - The New Man: Show respect and admiration for that which he cannot have

"He is an example of a New Man. You might have read the article about the New Men in True magazine last month. New Men are more in touch with their feelings than even women, and New Men cry. New Men want to have children, they long to give birth, so sometimes when they cry, it is because they can't do this; there is just nowhere for the baby to come out. New Men just give and give and give."

Miranda July, The Shared Patio, No One Belongs Here More Than You, pp.4-5

I laughed when I read the passage above in Miranda July's short story. I am not sure why I find it funny. Miranda has an ironic twist on her observations.

While I think she intends satire in her story, I wonder if men are not more in touch with their feminine side and if this is not a good thing for our society even if certain segments of society is threatened and mocks the male expression of the feminine just as it mocks as "butch" the female expression of the masculine.

As the father of nine children I was jealous of my wife's ability to conceive, nurture, give birth to, and breast feed our children. She said to me one time, "You don't like them until they are walking and talking." I wouldn't have put it that way because I did like them and love them but what is a father to do with an infant child? The bonding in those early stages are not the same between a female and male parent and the infant child. But once they are weaned and walking and talking and exploring the world, now Dad certainly has something of supreme value to offer in terms of protection, guidance, and leadership.

I don't know if I would call myself a New Man. I am the man I have always been, but I have not been macho, aloof, stoic. I bleed. I feel. I am empathic - I am a therapist for crying out loud, but I am not a woman either, nor a mother. I cannot give the gift of life and I am in touch with my inherent weaknesses and limitations and in that I am ashamed and less than a woman who has the power of the universe in her uterus. And it is women who have given birth to both men and women. Without her none of us would exist. It is this jealousy, this envy, this rage at our male inadequacy which makes us controlling, possessive, aggressive and wanting to contain what we cannot control.

The New Man is not just in touch with his feminine but he is accepting of his inherent limitations and shows proper admiration and respect for that which he cannot have.