It is very tough for an untrained, young, health care professional to provide service to dying children and their families. Here is a snippet from an excellent "curbside consultation" which appeared in the October 1, 1998 issue of American Family Physician:
The mother described here is coping with a child who may be terminally ill. It is common for parents in this situation to be angry that their child is the one who is sick. This mother may feel guilty that she was unable to keep her child safe and healthy, even though that guilt is obviously irrational. Such guilt often manifests as overprotectiveness. In addition, the mother may be grieving about her impending loss and may need extra time to be with her child. Strong emotions tend to contribute to a parent's need to maintain the role as the child's primary caregiver and protector.
At the same time, hospital routines can be very distressing and disruptive to many families. Patients often have many people coming into their room, each to do some small task as part of "standard routines." These frequent disruptions interfere with sleep or with normal routines, intrude on private time between the child and the parent, and often usurp the parent's role with his or her child. Usually, little thought is given to how each disturbance adds to the stress of the child and the family. In particular, the parent may view the care provided by trainees--whether medical students or residents--as an "extra intrusion" and may lash out, particularly when these individuals seem unsure of themselves or less competent than others providing similar care.
To read the whole article which is brief is well worth it and you can do so by clicking here.
This is article #6 in a series on Grieving parents.
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